Do you suffer from this (hint: the answer is probably yes)

This really hit home for me, and I’m curious if it will for you too…

I just finished reading a book that I want to tell you about because I think it should be required reading for all humans (but especially women and other marginalized people). 

It’s Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by twin sisters Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.

One of the many things in the book that stood out to me, was the concept of Human Giver Syndrome. 

Human Giver Syndrome is a collective cultural belief that some people (mainly women) are obligated to give to others even at the expense of their own wellbeing, and that their main purpose in life is to be giving, kind, and pretty.

Throughout the book, Emily and Amelia give examples and reasons why women are more likely to suffer from burnout than men, and Human Giver Syndrome was one of the main reasons why. 

Despite the fact that many women these days have full-time jobs, it’s still the cultural expectation that they will be doing most of the housework and childcare. We are expected to do it all, with a smile on our face and while looking flawless. 

What?! This was one fact amongst many in the book that seemed so obviously ridiculous, however it’s such a deeply embedded cultural belief that we don’t think about it that often.

Yes, we sometimes talk about the disparity between the amount of housework that men do vs. women, but I never realized the full extent of how the expectations and perceptions of women in our culture affect our levels of stress, exhaustion, and burnout. 

As someone who’s experienced burnout, this hit me hard and really resonated. I’m definitely a giver, which isn’t a bad thing, unless we overgive to the point where it affects us negatively.

Luckily there are things we can do to protect ourselves and our energy. And I’ll be talking more about that in the coming weeks, so make sure to sign up for my email list below to make sure you don’t miss out on any posts.